The secrets of Dubai’s most outrageous hotels – and their very demanding guests

In early 2023, any influencer worth their salt was having a Cinderella moment, desperately hoping for an invite to the most talked-about launch of the year. Atlantis The Royal’s opening extravaganza in Dubai was the big ticket, stretching over three days with magazine editors, models and TV stars among the 1,200 in attendance.

The festivities, which included a $24-million gig by Beyoncé and a tequila launch from Kendall Jenner wearing shiny latex gloves (of the sexy, non-Marigold variety), ensured blanket coverage in the world’s press. Meanwhile, a vast selection of Instagrammable settings (including a 28-metre fire and water fountain and a rooftop infinity pool where parasols dip over outsized loungers) meant social channels erupted with photos of glamorous people posing in front of blue expanses or flickering flames.

The hype certainly put the hotel on the map. After the launch, its Instagram following grew from 17,000 to 178,000. But now that the fireworks are over and the glitter is gone, who will stay at the hotel, where rooms cost upwards of £800 per night? 

Dubai will likely expect its four biggest markets as guests: India, Saudi Arabia, Russia and the UK, in that order, though Atlantis The Royal hopes to attract guests from the US and mainland Europe, too. What unites these travellers is a willingness to spend. Holidaymakers parted with more cash in the emirate than any other city in the world in 2022, according to the World Travel and Tourism Council – $29.4 billion dollars in total.

They’re paying to holiday somewhere safe (provided visitors abide by its strict and sometimes controversial rules), clean and with every activity under the year-round sun, from designer shopping to skiing. There’s another draw for those who can afford hotels such as Atlantis The Royal – the faultless service that Dubai has become known for. Thanks to some of the most discreet hospitality staff in the business, what happens in Dubai hotels stays in Dubai hotels (unless, like the ex-NFL player who bared his naked bottom in one swimming pool, your antics are captured by a fellow guest). 

An oligarch’s holiday

Indian travellers might be Dubai’s most frequent visitors, but Russians are on the rise, with 47 per cent more visiting in the first half of 2022 than in the same period during the previous year. Why? A love of beach hotels with easy access to designer boutiques means the shop-and-flop holidays of Dubai equal their perfect vacations. 

But the richest aren’t picking up ‘My Brother Went to Dubai and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt’ style souvenirs. At the skyscraping “seven-star” Burj Al Arab, guests can treat themselves to £990 bottles of exclusive perfume while, at Atlantis The Royal, they can even buy a Picasso. As a hotel brochure puts it, “Ancient Atlantis was said to be the greatest power the world had known, yet its wares could not compare with those displayed within the beautiful boutiques of Atlantis, The Royal Resort & Residences”. 

It’s not just retail therapy that’s attracting wealthy Russians, however. Dubai’s neutral response to the war in Ukraine has helped, too. In 2022, visitor numbers from the country surged by 47 per cent as oligarchs found their French estates and Spain-based yachts seized due to EU sanctions. As reported by the Wall Street Journal, their grounded private jets lay languishing at Dubai’s airport with, quite literally, nowhere else to go. 

Luckily for worldly Russians, there’s familiarity in Dubai’s offering. Many of the hotels have the same labels as their clothes, including the glitzy Palazzo Versace and Armani Hotel which, in 2018, launched a dedicated website for Russian-speaking guests. Some of the restaurants are familiar too: upmarket chains such as Roka and Caviar Kaspia, which also has branches in London, Paris and LA.

As President Zelensky staged a crackdown on Ukrainian oligarchs, they, too, began arriving. In 2022, The Telegraph reported that the country’s youngest billionaire, Kostyatyn Zhevago, docked his mega-yacht at the Bulgari Hotel Yacht Club, where services include onboard spa treatments and slap-up meals and where an annual membership for boats as big as Zhevago’s starts from £190,000.

It’s no wonder some oligarchs are reportedly seeking longer-term homes in the emirate. The hotels have that covered, too, offering residences with round-the-clock security for those who like their living spaces branded. At Atlantis The Royal, apartments come with “lofty gardens and sky-high infinity pools”. A three-storey penthouse with two private pools recently sold for $44 million (£36,410,000).

The ultimate staycation

Thanks to zero income tax, secure compounds (some on their own islands) and a favourable Golden Visa scheme, 20 billionaires emigrated to the emirate in 2021 according to estimates by Forbes, while around 70,000 millionaires live in its ever-increasing number of mansions and glitzy apartments. For them, nightly rates for rooms such as Atlantis The Royal’s £80,000-plus Royal Mansion (where Beyoncé and Jay-Z stayed for its opening weekend) are mere drops in the ocean.

At this duplex penthouse, the entrance is framed by century-old olive trees, the bath products are exclusively designed by Hermès and the infinity pool looks out over the glittering Dubai skyline. In a sea of gilded hotels, it manages to be opulent and surprisingly tasteful. 

Clearly, the guests who check in have standards. Thus, Atlantis The Royal’s restaurants are a who’s who of the world’s best chefs, from Heston Blumenthal to Nobu Matsuhisa, while more expensive rooms come with 24/7 butler service.

Big-name restaurants and big-brand booze are also attracting an increasing number of “bleisure” travellers, many of whom frequent Dubai’s super clubs, where the DJs are world renowned and the guests are supermodel pretty, in the hope it will give their business deals an extra veneer of gloss. All this goes some way to explaining why Dubai hotel rooms are the second-most profitable in the world after Miami, according to research by hospitality industry data firm STR. 

Not every guest is an oligarch or billionaire-in-residence, of course. Others are literally living the dream, hoping that a little bit of gold dust will rub off. For them, a host of the best hotels have set up pretender offerings. 

For instance, if you’re checking in at the Burj Al Arab, why not hire a Rolls Royce Phantom to transport you from the airport? Staying at FIVE Palm Jumeirah? Head to its Bohemia beach party in the hope of mingling with UK influencers or even Cristiano Ronaldo (holder of a Golden Visa and previously spotted in one of its restaurants). ANd if you’re relaxing at Atlantis The Palm, you could even charter a helicopter to show you around town. You’ve got to fake it to make it, after all.

Dubai’s most outlandish hotel rooms

Kempsinki’s ski chalets

Skiers enjoying the world’s largest indoor slope at Ski Dubai can complete their alpine holiday by checking into one of these chalet-like duplex rooms with views over the pistes. Adorned with antler-style chandeliers and stone fireplaces, they’re almost like being in the Alps (or Aspen, after which they’re named).

Duplex Imperial Suite, Palazzo Versace

Donatella herself did the hotel up to look like a 16th-century palazzo, this sprawling duplex has hosted J.Lo and comes with bedrooms where the curtains, throws and chairs are all adorned with matching patterned pastel fabrics while, in a living room, the pool table surface is a vibrant purple. For this reason, hangovers are best spent by the shady private rooftop pool where the sun loungers are a soothing cream.

Royal Suite, Burj Al Arab

There’s glitzy and then there’s this Royal Suite, which features a revolving bed and gold-plated iPad on which guests can convey their desires to their hotel butlers. Jacquard drapes, pillared bathtubs and the odd hint of leopard print don’t make this a particularly restful space – but boy, is it an opulent one. Nelson Mandela, Justin Bieber and some of the Kardashians have all stayed.

Panoramic Suite, Address Skyview

Scenes for Dubai Bling, a reality show about the lives of the Emirati rich and famous, were shot at this influencer favourite in the city centre. Its Panoramic Suites come with Instagrammable views of mirrored towers from the floor-to-ceiling windows, as well as a large balcony.