First tennis, then the Ashes? Saudi Arabia’s creeping landgrab is becoming normalised

First they came for the Newcastle United and I did not speak out because I am not a member of Lindisfarne. Then they came for the golf and I did not speak out because I am not Rory McIlroy. Then they came for the Cristiano Ronaldo and I did not speak out, because I was quite happy to see him leave. Now they are coming for the tennis, and perhaps it might be time to say something.

What would it cost for Saudi Arabia to buy its way into the sport? $2 billion apparently, final offer, and make your mind up within the next six months. This is the deal proposed by Saudi’s Public Investment Fund (PIF) which includes none of the four Grand Slams, just the ATP and WTA tours.

Of course, no mega rich petrostate stops at just the men’s and women’s tennis tour in their current forms. Expect a swift rebranding and tempting offers to reasonably well-known players to abandon the traditional path. There is also talk of a Premium (most definitely their caps) Tour which presumably is the same old Cincinnati Open, just with gold borders added to all the logos.

Perhaps an entirely new tour could anyway be launched if the bid is unsuccessful. The reward for interested players would be an easier and better-paid life and many would be tempted. Wimbledon, unafraid of banning Russians and Belarussians, would likely blacklist any defectors, then you have a mess which looks untenable. From there the only solution is to bring it all back under the same umbrella. It is the golf playbook all over again.

It is an instinctively odd idea that you can own an entire sport, but that is effectively what is happening slowly with golf, where talks continue for a remarkable PGA-LIV truce/merger/buy-out. But what would be the implications of tennis under Saudi control? You thought the late-night finishes were bad in Melbourne, try playing in midday in Jeddah. Hawk-eye challenges could be punished with disqualification, in the spirit of crushing all dissent. Perhaps some stars of the Saudi Pro League can finally have their Royal Box moment? Look out for the heartwarming photo of Neymar, Karim Benzema and Sadio Mane next to Anna Wintour.

More seriously, any significant Saudi incursion into tennis is likely to alienate a great number of its fans. A 2010 poll of gay and lesbian people reported that tennis was seen as the most gay-friendly sport for fans and players. Fair to say that sentiment could change.

But it is easy to tie yourself into knots when the realities of enormous investment come into focus. Firm leadership and consolidation may not be a bad thing for a sport so diffuse and administratively complex. Surely even some in SW19 have dared to dream about a future of potentially infinite spending. What they could do with that money! The grassroots investment, the improvements for spectators, the beloved parks they could build over.

Tennis would plainly benefit from investment, a more coherent schedule and more year-round interest. This is how they get you, the promise of a better future then a slow but ultimately successful creep. Newcastle may be having a more challenging season but their happy ending is inevitable because the Man City Abu Dhabi template is too obvious to get wrong. Invest lavishly in local area, constantly improve team, and find your Pep Guardiola equivalent once you have jettisoned poor Eddie Howe.

In other sports, once-novel Saudi involvement now feels ingrained. Go back 10 years and imagine a venue other than Las Vegas for an A-List heavyweight title fight. It would have seemed absurd. Now it is hard to picture Anthony Joshua vs Tyson Fury, when they finally get around to it in their 40s, taking place anywhere but Saudi.

Dissent dies down and the unpalatable becomes normalised. First some tennis tour events, then, before you know it, the crown jewels. Boxing Day Ashes Tests in Riyadh. Tiger and Rory celebrating a powerplay turbo-birdie for their Ignite team at Augusta, in round three of three of the 2028 Masters. Handing Saudi Arabia a football World Cup without any opposition. That kind of thing.